Sport: Football riot at Liberty
A riot broke out earlier at the Liberty Stadium when a fan defecated on the centre spot during the Swansea City-Brazil half time. Read more
First paedo lynched!
The Daily Mail has just lynched its first child-snatcher! One down...
Cancer water
Water has been discovered to cause cancer. Millions take up smoking.
Apology
Channel 14 apologises for the news story it broke last week which claimed Prince Harry had died from binge drinking. The actual person in question was just another ginger.
Today's weather
Bright and breezy with hints of tsunami.